When the hope for a baby girl doesn’t go away

After more than 10 years of supporting women on their journey, one pattern has stood out: Most women who reach out are hoping to conceive a girl — often after having one or more boys.

Research has consistently shown that many women have a stronger preference for daughters, something I’ve explored in previous articles. What continues to stand out to me is how clearly this shows up in practice.

Recently, I came across an article in Der Tagesspiegel discussing exactly this — how many parents, particularly after having boys, develop a strong wish for a daughter. What struck me most was how honestly it captured the emotional side of this.

One mother shared how, after having two boys, she “really hoped this time it would be a girl.” Not as a passing thought, but as something she had quietly carried with her: a picture of what her family might feel like, still incomplete.

Another described the moment she found out she was having another boy as unexpectedly difficult: “When the doctor told us, I was so sad. I almost cried.” Not because she didn’t love her child, but because she had to let go of a hope she had been holding onto, often without fully putting it into words.

This is something that is increasingly recognised as gender disappointment: a feeling that can exist alongside love, and that many women experience, even if it’s rarely spoken about.

And if this is something you’ve been feeling too, I want you to know:

There is nothing unusual about it.

There is nothing wrong with it.

It’s a very real, very human wish.

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of supporting many women on this journey — each with their own story, their own hopes, and their own quiet wish for something more.

And one success story at a time, I’ve seen how meaningful this journey can be.

Warmly,

Julia